unreasonable and illogical (lifted from mforme.blogspot.com)

Unreasonable and illogical
Last night rain, thunder and lightning kept me company. The day was simply too hot and beautiful...the skies could not help but cry....And I could not help thinking.
I've been doing a lot of that this past week...reassessing everything..love, marriage, truth, faith, etc.And somewhere between last wednesday and last night, I became acquainted with another type of love...the logical type..the type that comes after considerable thinking, the type that sees the pros and cons, the type that evaluates probabilities of success...the type that thinks first and feels later....
I see wisdom in this type of love....I see security and compatibility too...but mostly I see plans...designs and calculations. This type of love is so foreign to me....
Maybe it is because I've always been a drifter..an opportunist of some kind, always allowing life to have its way with me...at times ruthlessly, violenty...almost destructively.
All this thinking has nagged me...throwing my deeply held beliefs out of the window, jolting my sense of balance, shaking my dreams...To top it all, I agreed to have lunch with Mr Moon yesterday, nicknamed such because another M would simply add too much confusion to this blog..:)
Mr. Moon is a nice, handsome Paki guy I met at one of those functions where people spit in each other's food! We chatted, ate and laughed...it felt nice....and it scared me.It still scares me...to think first, feel later.
Feelings have almost invariably misled me...yet, I don't know why I still believe in all-consuming love...the type that has neither reason nor logic, neither plans nor probabilities, that knows no boundaries or limits..save its own growth and destruction....the only type I have known so far....
As the thunder roared last night, I decided to call M. I left him a message....unreasonable and illogical...like everything else in my life.